Oh the days

I'm not only reminding myself to blog, but Katie is reminding me too.  Come to find out she's blogged like 10x since my re-first post I think not a short 3 days ago.

We're are these days going anyhow? Naturally I'm exhausted but in all seriousness it's almost becoming an issue.  Work has taken up so much of my mind recently that I realized tomorrow is Thursday and for the 4th strait week I'm asking myself "where the hell did that week go?"

I should be thankful the weeks are zooming by, so soon we will meet baby Southerlin.  But I need a few more days to even out the stress of work right now.

So you shall ask, "what ARE you doing now, Kate?"

Fate has a funny way of working out.  When I left my first stint of blogging I was looking for a new career.   1000+ days later so much makes so much more sense where I ended up: American Cancer Society.

What started off with ACS as a fundraising job has taken me full circle to a promotion and now working within our corporate offices at the Mid-South division in our communications and marketing dept.  From that promotion to where I am today has really evolved and gone even further of the full spectrum of ACS.  I can tell you most sides of acs unlike some who only know their quadrant.  Research info,  fundraising info, programs info or statistical info, Im at the center of the message and happily so.  I work for the premier healthcare organization dedicated to eliminating cancer and I send that message every day out to the public.

Funny how those words "ACS" we're never mentioned to me when my dad was battling cancer.  I want to change that for people like myself.

I often feel helpless knowing what I do now, and not having known then.  Remarkably,  we are 1 month away from the 3 year anniversary of his death.  So where does that leave me?

3 years later I know he's proud of what I've done since his death.  I know he had a hand in Barron's creation and love. I know he watches out for me.  I do believe in his spirit, but I can't say I've felt it.  I just know because it would be silly things he would do, that happen now and I realize : that's dad.  I would love the opportunity to visit a medium and hear the connection.

3 years later the emptiness from his calls or silly cards has passed.  I often think about what he sees looking down on Liz and I and I know he wishes he was here but I know he's better off where he is now.  Cancer is ugly.  I see it everyday of my life. I hear the sad stories, praise the miracles I see, sit in amazement at the research that's being done (and saving lives -KJ) cry at the helpless children and refocus on doing what needs to be done: curing it.

Some days with ACS are so hard.  You hear the bad, see so much of it, your scared to death. I am scared of it.  I've learned cancer picks you.  (You still need to quit smoking, mom) but its your chances of how and when it will pick you.  I don't mean to sound insensitive to all who battle it, but there is a lot you can do to not get cancer.   I'm doing the best that I can do, but it's my prayer that it ill be blessed enough so that I or my family don't have to hear those dreaded words.

Hard to believe I've gone from wedding planning extraordinaire to curing cancer, right?

My memories for the past few days.

Today I was a proud mama when I heard Barron screaming and crying outside.  I rushed out to see what he'd injured himself on, when I found him at the top of the hill in our yard staring and Sobbing to the street.

When I managed to get myself up that small hill, I saw what the tears were about.  His ball had gone into the middle of the street and he knew he wasn't suppose to get it.  I praised him for being A good boy and crying.  Wou would have thought I'd want him to cry.
Nite to all the rest of the week or what's left of it.